Eh, anger... I've been watching flame wars blossom into digital fist fights on these here internets for some 25 years now. Heck, I've been directly involved in some absolutely epically silly episodes myself.
I can only assume that there is a pile, an immeasurable stack of countless psychological and anthropological studies that have been published on the nature of these virtual tiff tiffs over the years... Funny, I've never searched on this as I do find it fascinating.
I recall the days when all of a sudden MySpace allowed a whole-whackingly huge crowd of fresh-meaters, unaccustomed to the routine, etiquette and techniques for calling out your buddies on their dick-headedness (I've been called out on this countless times, many perhaps even most, I will easily admit to being called out correctly on)...
I also recall, perhaps more fondly, that for the most part, before MySpace, it was punch & stick on our old-school BBSesez. I mean, where could you go... I guess to another BBS, but... there weren't many and that other one over there, it was run by and populated by geeks and dweebs (and teenagers).
MySpace allowed for new responses to the tiff-tiff, one combatant was able to AND might resign simply from the friendship, avoid contact with the other combatant for hours, days, weeks, months... rarely years. The equivalent of taking your ball and going home... This was a very public gesture as IF you were so inclined, you could keep track of who amoung your friends was friends with who...
Facebook's introduction of the ability to "remain" friends but simply "tune 'em out"; I find this kind of insidious... I mean, are you my friend are ain't ya; oh well, so be it. I remain here with my personality complexes, assuming that at least 75% of those 339 great, good and wonderful pals of mine have tuned me out over some regretful comment... eh, my rambling on during my 5+ year psychotic "love affair" with the Bush Administration alone, was tantamount to my spraying this friends list with agent orange... I'm sure there are countless old chums out there seething in the belief that I actually believe any of this :-)
Personally, I do NOT de-friends friends secretly NOR have I ever formerly de-friended anyone (except when I was legally bound to do so)... eh, its part of the "empathy policy"... Oh sure, at this very moment, I consider you to be a freaking duechebag; but you're my pal, ultimately some good will come outta ya, you silly misguided blow-harding windbag... if I wait and I usually DON'T have to wait too long, I always end up wanting to give the old chum a great big hug and hello one day.
AND, you know what... IF I were to cut out those with whom I disagreed, and only listened to those with whom I agreed, well that's called stagnation if my "religion". Argument is 50% of learning, it can help you to re-think and solidify an opinion OR poke enough holes in an idea to send it back to the drawing board for major, minor revisions or a massive overhaul, no?
THEN, there's the "nuclear resignation"... I love this one. Well actually, I find it a bit unsettling....
Some one posts an opinion, a contrary thought is posted; cynicism sarcasm and ironic stupidity abounds ...A big fight breaks out; you wake up the next morning, ready to re-join, contribute, or perhaps attempt to help calm your fighting friends only to find one of the characters GONE. And I mean gone... no traces, not angry footprints galloping off to another corner of pals on the playground.
It's the "I'm sick of Facebook, I'm leaving, taking my ball, deflating it and tossing it into the back of the closet; jumping on a plane, changing my name and moving to... the closest place I can find with no internets" manoeuvre (this used to be that sad little chair in front of the TV until the smartphone came along)...
Sadly, I've had to live through 3 or 4 of these "nuclear resignations"; happily, they seem to last only for a few months... then that good ol' stick in the mudder pal-o-mine is somehow drawn back; welcomed in AND usually right back at it, flingin' in the fray... In one rare occurance a pal disappeared for years (or so I thought), oh he was gone for only a year, but by the time I re-found him, he'd come back, re-incarnated as a rasta-shaman and had a whole huge new-weed whackin' circle of pals I'd never even knew woulda or coulda existed :-) ...funny enough, you got it, he's still my brother. (that's a wholy separate story from the motivation for this one).
So... we lost another friend one last night. He lit the preverbal third match... gone, but not forgotten.
I think this one may be a little more interesting than some of the other "nuclear resignations"... The fella involved can be quite stubborn when he wants to BE, is extremely brilliant, AND has the ability to invent his own personal class-cases-in-study on the behaviour he's trying to prove is human nature by baring it out upon himself... the clock starts ticking... NOW.
Ya know...
Anger is a wonderfully useful emotion. Outside it being ones greatest defender of ones pride. It grows a big-bad-bubble in your soul that when finally popped it forms a void, creates the space to sit, think and realize just how silly and stupid you've been. Certainly anger is painful when in "the thick of it", and it's misuse can have long lasting repercussions. The reciprocal anger it creates in other is simply unmanageable, really its something you simply have to put up with lest let it create a spiralling reciprocating anger that last years or sadly even a lifetime. Me, I've settled on a very simple antidote to long lasting anger, and yes its a HUGE part of the aforementioned empathy policy... I simply allow myself to... get over it.
pop.
I can only assume that there is a pile, an immeasurable stack of countless psychological and anthropological studies that have been published on the nature of these virtual tiff tiffs over the years... Funny, I've never searched on this as I do find it fascinating.
I recall the days when all of a sudden MySpace allowed a whole-whackingly huge crowd of fresh-meaters, unaccustomed to the routine, etiquette and techniques for calling out your buddies on their dick-headedness (I've been called out on this countless times, many perhaps even most, I will easily admit to being called out correctly on)...
I also recall, perhaps more fondly, that for the most part, before MySpace, it was punch & stick on our old-school BBSesez. I mean, where could you go... I guess to another BBS, but... there weren't many and that other one over there, it was run by and populated by geeks and dweebs (and teenagers).
MySpace allowed for new responses to the tiff-tiff, one combatant was able to AND might resign simply from the friendship, avoid contact with the other combatant for hours, days, weeks, months... rarely years. The equivalent of taking your ball and going home... This was a very public gesture as IF you were so inclined, you could keep track of who amoung your friends was friends with who...
Facebook's introduction of the ability to "remain" friends but simply "tune 'em out"; I find this kind of insidious... I mean, are you my friend are ain't ya; oh well, so be it. I remain here with my personality complexes, assuming that at least 75% of those 339 great, good and wonderful pals of mine have tuned me out over some regretful comment... eh, my rambling on during my 5+ year psychotic "love affair" with the Bush Administration alone, was tantamount to my spraying this friends list with agent orange... I'm sure there are countless old chums out there seething in the belief that I actually believe any of this :-)
Personally, I do NOT de-friends friends secretly NOR have I ever formerly de-friended anyone (except when I was legally bound to do so)... eh, its part of the "empathy policy"... Oh sure, at this very moment, I consider you to be a freaking duechebag; but you're my pal, ultimately some good will come outta ya, you silly misguided blow-harding windbag... if I wait and I usually DON'T have to wait too long, I always end up wanting to give the old chum a great big hug and hello one day.
AND, you know what... IF I were to cut out those with whom I disagreed, and only listened to those with whom I agreed, well that's called stagnation if my "religion". Argument is 50% of learning, it can help you to re-think and solidify an opinion OR poke enough holes in an idea to send it back to the drawing board for major, minor revisions or a massive overhaul, no?
THEN, there's the "nuclear resignation"... I love this one. Well actually, I find it a bit unsettling....
Some one posts an opinion, a contrary thought is posted; cynicism sarcasm and ironic stupidity abounds ...A big fight breaks out; you wake up the next morning, ready to re-join, contribute, or perhaps attempt to help calm your fighting friends only to find one of the characters GONE. And I mean gone... no traces, not angry footprints galloping off to another corner of pals on the playground.
It's the "I'm sick of Facebook, I'm leaving, taking my ball, deflating it and tossing it into the back of the closet; jumping on a plane, changing my name and moving to... the closest place I can find with no internets" manoeuvre (this used to be that sad little chair in front of the TV until the smartphone came along)...
Sadly, I've had to live through 3 or 4 of these "nuclear resignations"; happily, they seem to last only for a few months... then that good ol' stick in the mudder pal-o-mine is somehow drawn back; welcomed in AND usually right back at it, flingin' in the fray... In one rare occurance a pal disappeared for years (or so I thought), oh he was gone for only a year, but by the time I re-found him, he'd come back, re-incarnated as a rasta-shaman and had a whole huge new-weed whackin' circle of pals I'd never even knew woulda or coulda existed :-) ...funny enough, you got it, he's still my brother. (that's a wholy separate story from the motivation for this one).
So... we lost another friend one last night. He lit the preverbal third match... gone, but not forgotten.
I think this one may be a little more interesting than some of the other "nuclear resignations"... The fella involved can be quite stubborn when he wants to BE, is extremely brilliant, AND has the ability to invent his own personal class-cases-in-study on the behaviour he's trying to prove is human nature by baring it out upon himself... the clock starts ticking... NOW.
Ya know...
Anger is a wonderfully useful emotion. Outside it being ones greatest defender of ones pride. It grows a big-bad-bubble in your soul that when finally popped it forms a void, creates the space to sit, think and realize just how silly and stupid you've been. Certainly anger is painful when in "the thick of it", and it's misuse can have long lasting repercussions. The reciprocal anger it creates in other is simply unmanageable, really its something you simply have to put up with lest let it create a spiralling reciprocating anger that last years or sadly even a lifetime. Me, I've settled on a very simple antidote to long lasting anger, and yes its a HUGE part of the aforementioned empathy policy... I simply allow myself to... get over it.
pop.
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