Original aired out to dry: July 4th, 2013 - On Tumblr

I think most of my American pals who know me, know exactly how much I love, adore, respect, admire and, did I say love, the United States of America. Now, many of them may be scratching their heads of late, wondering why I’ve been so-shitting on the head of the now sitting Presidenté… Simple… hmmm, ok maybe not so…  I think a New York Yankee’s analogy might work best here…
 
It’s kinda like when when my Yankee’s signed A-Rod; good numbers at bat, OK fielding, BUT… he’s a stinkin' prima-donna-pretty-boy, a whining C H E A T E R. He’s cheated on the field, he’s cheated on his wife (the love of his life?) He likely even, praise be, cheated on the Madonna… I was never happy that he was added to our team; at such a cost, oh such a cost… 
 
That said, I don’t judge a team by it’s so-called best, better yet, top most paid player. Just as I’d not have you judge my country of Canada by it’s Prime Minister, I’ll not judge the greatest of nations, the nation of friends on it’s choices, good or bad in who is to serve the puppet masters as Presidenté.

ON THIS DAY July 4th - I simply say… BE INDEPENDENT! - I beg you! 

The declaration we celebrate today is in my humblest of opinions simply the last most recent, most important step forward for mankind; don't step backwards… BE INDEPENDENT, don’t let the Madison Avenue scum-bags spin their yarns that makes you trust these THUGS you liked a day or two ago. Don’t get lost in your own older choices, don’t hold yourself to it… you’re obliged to “evolve”… Think about it.
 
You know I love each and everyone of you so-called Republican’s, you declared Democrats, free-wheelin’ Libertarian Tea-totin’ TeaNuts and all you oh so progressive… Collectivist-Hippies. I love each and everyone of you who has looked past the clutter of the casual meme of the day and expressed some form of personal opinion on this and/or that; bitch-screamed, yelled… heck even whined a bit… Proves functionality, your warranty’s intact. THINK INDEPENDENTLY!
 
BE even MORE INDEPENDENT, don’t settle, find time in your busy day to sit back, take a good long questioning American look at what was just said and be willing to say, BULLSHIT, it’s only ever half right left of center. STAY FREE of mind, and don’t let those who want you to be lazy, treat you to the comforting comfort of your own good god damned (even if it is deserved) laziness… YES you CAN have only one potato chip, it’s YOUR choice, not theres!
 
I pledge you ONE thing as a lover of America with an American son; I will NEVER let this son of mine see his birthright as a some sort of free pass, ticket or free-lunch. Wherever we bring him up, he will be taught that he has NO right to live in his homeland unless he’s willing to contribute… at least half as much as his mother has contributed in pursuit of her own cherished citizenship. He will be told not only to LOVE America, but know WHY he loves America, as both his Mother and Father do (for exceptionally different yet absolutely similar reasons I might add)… 
 
Of course, we will leave up to him to come up with his own reasons why he Love’s America. We’ll give him a fair start, leave him on his own… Leave him to his own gosh-given INDEPENDENT notions… as to why he loves the country he’s a yet-to-be-earned citizen of.
 
Gloriously gushing RANT. OFF, enjoy your (our human) INDEPENDENCE DAY. Celebrate it… then get back out there on (Monday) and get back to work or what ever you love doing… This Monday, get back to earning this INDEPENDENCE of (y)ours. 
 
I LOVE YOU! - Now... WAKE UP please!

New York City... As it manifests itself, on a truck, potentially in motion in my memories this morning... I've been drawn, by a friend, to an inspiration of sorts... a conclusion perhaps recently. There is just far too much to miss of that greatest of cities, this glorious home of mine... While at the exact same moment so much to be happy about being back here, at home, moving on to the next, somewhere... 

I doubt anyone will ever truly understand my multilayered love affair with this darling of a place, that "city on the edge of tomorrow"... city at the moment of forever...

I'll just keep feeding you snapshot memories of the millions of little things that I saw... Stories of what I may (and never fully admit to) having done... If a feeling jumps out at you from one of these snap-memory moments of mine... Have at it, it's meant for your enjoyment... Whatever it is you get from it... That's not up to me.  

I (heart) NY... and simply, always will.

Original:  March 1st, 2005, MySpace blog, Written IN: New York, New York, 3:08 PM

It has been pointed out to me recently that my wee stories have been becoming, well, just a bit to sappy. The Sacrin content has elevated these little dities to the point were one has to wash the sticky goo from their hands immediately upon reading. OK, I can take this, I mean, I guess I can drop my bid to be the Greenpoint representative at the upcoming city wide Sap-Master Sapptastic-Man competitions… 

I guess I could just up and stop trying to find my feminine side. I guess I could let my pubes grow out again, get ‘em stuck in my fly a few times and grow back the snarling angry-man that we all so knew and loved… Sure thing there bubs, I’ll start standing erect, stop mopin’ about in a constant state of maudlinistic despair. As of today, I’ll start eating my toast raw, drinking my beer warm and my whisky straight. I’ll dig out my old porn collection and start falling asleep to that rather than those documentaries by Ken Burns I’ve been falling asleep to recently. 

I’ll pay closer attention to Leni Briscoe and turn off Law and Order the minute Sam Waterson’s character opens his trap [even though we do see eye to eye on at least the death penalty]. You know, the best damned Cuban Sandwich is definitely being served up at a little place on 25th Street between 6th and Broadway. I believe the place is called “The Spanish Restaurant”, of course that could easily just be a sign telling you what it is. 

This place is a classic, a classic midtown lunch joint with a counter a small seating section in the back and take out and delivery flying out the door faster than you can say “there goes another illegal alien riding a shitty bike”. I prefer the counter where the dance of the 17 waitresses spins out of control inches from your food, the salsa blares only to be droned out by the near constant barking of orders in a Spanish so raunchy I’m assuming even they’re using it incorrectly. Now, this sandwich, this Cuban sandwich is the best I have had anywhere I’ve been in the world. AND, unlike all you Yankee-doodle wing-nuts, anywhere in the world for me includes Cuba. 


So listen up. This Cuban sandwich isn’t of the frilly willy variety, this bitch is 100% pure hardcore lunch-eating goodness, read, no frikin’ AVACADO! It’s got your pork, your ham, your cheese and pickle, BANG, that’s it, LUNCH. It’s made honestly, I mean the pork looks like it was carved off the roast with a hammer; the ham perhaps somewhat more delicately hacked off the bone with a dull tree-saw. The roll is an honest chunk of bread, crushed and burnt to perfection under the weight of the griller. And when I say weight of the griller, I mean the guy grilling the damn thing pretty near sits on top of it; these puppies are flat, fresh and filling. 

So, if you want a good Cuban Sandwich, I mean really want one, you’re a tard, a complete frikin’ tard if you go anywhere else. Myself, I doubt I’ll ever eat lunch anywhere else again. I mean, I’m what you call a super-regular… I fell in love with a steak sandwich at a little diner in Toronto one day, afterwhich I ate lunch at this place every workday for four and a half years. Hey, when I got a new job in a different ‘hood, I made a point of going to this one diner for that one sandwich at least once every weekend. Matter of fact, the first time I went back to Toronto after moving here, it’d been two years, I went into this place to order the sandwich, the ol’ broad at the counter looked at me, asked why I hadn’t been around for a while and asked me if I wanted my usual steak sandwich. Best damned Steak on a Kaiser, Best damned Cuban on earth, guaranteed no sappy content. 

My cheeks are clenched so tightly right now I’m afraid I’m going to suck a hole through my gitch just getting this damned thing out. 100% sap FREE content indeed.